Friends

One of the hardest things to cope with I have found as I have gotten older is changes in relationships. We all go through periods of time where we are closer with certain people then others and then it changes. Consider how who your best friends are have changed over the years. Chances are you have different best friends now then you did in college then you did in high school then you did when you were a kid. We all think we will be friends forever when we are young and the truth is as we get older, people and priorities change..people simply drift apart.

Every relationship takes an effort from both sides. If one person is willing to make the effort and the other is not, that is the end of the relationship whether we like it or not. This is true with friends, family and romantic relationships. It's a two person effort, always. I believe each relationship we have in our lives is meant to teach us something, therefore, no relationship is ever a waste. Even when people hurt us, we benefit. We learn from each other. In every healthy relationship we laugh, we cry, we have fun, we fight, forgive and move on, sometimes together and sometimes not.

My mom broke it down for me the other night at dinner. She explains that we have three types of friends; A, B and C. We usually like our friends for different reasons, for what they bring to our lives that is unique to them. Some we always have a great time with, some friends are great to talk to, some we can live with, travel with, some give great advice, some tell us how it is etc.. Our 'A' friends are kind of the whole package. They are our best friends. The people we count on and have that unconditional bond with. Our 'B' friends are people that we have fun with, we grab dinner once and a while with, basically an A friend with out the unconditional, sisterly bond. A little more casual. Our 'C' friends are people we simply have a good time with here and there. They really aren't involoved in our lives in any other way. You will find that throughout your life some friends may drift through the different categories, being closer to you at certain points of your life then others... some are consistently 'A' friends. If you have even one 'A' friend you should consider yourself very lucky. Treasure them.

Remember to always make the effort with those you care about and tell people in your life how you feel about them. After all, life is too short and our relationships are what make it worthwhile.

Mad Money

I recently got my statement for my 403b account and it turns out I have a few bucks in there and the first thing that came to my mind is "I hope I live long enough to see this money." I work hard to put away money for my future and who knows if ill make it to 65..Morbid? Yea, but I've seen too many young people be taken much too soon to not have the thought cross my mind.

I think some people put way too much pressure on themselves to save save save. Ofcourse, it is important but it is also important to live NOW. There can be a happy balance. For example, when I first graduated I thought I had to put all my money towards my loans to pay them off as quickly as possible. I did put a good part of my salary towards it and barely made a dent. I have come to the realization that I'll probably be paying them off for the majority of my life and I'm ok with that. I'd rather pay the minimum balances to keep my credit and take the money that I keep to travel and do things that make me happy. I think it makes more sense to not stress about paying off your total bill balance all at once every single time, it's ok to have a little mad money to live your life the way you want. That's what it's all about. Yes, sometimes you end up paying a little more with interest but its a sacrifice I am willing to make sometimes. (I know a few narotic family members that are cringing at the thought) We work hard and should enjoy the benefits of our labor. Plan for your future but dont put all your eggs in one basket and have that be your only goal. Balance. No one is promised tomorrow so enjoy your life today. If you really want to do something and you have the means to make it happen, make the minimum payments that month and do it..your bills will still be there when you get back and the companies will still take your money. I promise. Life is too short. We can be responsible, plan and have fun all at the same time.

ICU Psychosis

When patients have been on our unit for a long period of time they can develop what we call "ICU psychosis." It is really just the hospital version of cabin fever. However, when you add that psychosis to an already pre-existing, diagnosis related confusion, it makes for one interesting night.

Her name was "Josephine." She was known on our unit for being a bit looney. Just when you thought you were on your last thread of patience, she would say something or do something and you couldn't help but laugh. I had her for two nights of her stay and that is really all I think I could handle... When she wasn't stuffing her dinner into her sock, yes, her sock, (a chicken, mashed potatoes and string bean dinner) "for later," she was stuffing obscene amounts of toilet paper into her gown "for later."

It was a little bit like the movie '50 First Dates,' every 2 minutes or so she would ask the same question again with no recollection of what the answer was the last 35 times.

J: "where am I?"

Me: "In the ICU"

J: "What?! are you playin? you ARE playin"

Me: "I am not playin"

....120 seconds later... "Where am I?"...

J: "(watching tv..) Oh my GOD!"

Me: "Whats wrong Josephine?"

J: "Donald Trump is the President?! How long have I been in here?!"

Me: "No he is not, he just says he might run for president"

J: "He's a damn fool."

Me: "I agree, do you know who the president is Josephine?"

J: "Sure, Regan!"

Me: "Try again, I'll give you a hint..he is our first black president..."

J: "Oh! Tiger Woods.."

J: "I have to go to the bathroom."

Me "Number 1 or number 2?"

J: "number 1"

Me: "You have a catheter in your bladder so you dont have to worry about number 1"

J: "I mean I have to go number 2."

Me: "Ok, I'll put you on the bed pan." ...pt on bed pan..

call bell goes off..

J: "I have to go the bathroom"

Me: " Jospehine you are on the bedpan and you have a foley so, please, go ahead."

J: "hahahah (in a deep ursula from the little mermaid type laugh.).okayy babyy"

..120 seconds later, repeat. 120 second after that the unit phone rings..

"I have to go to the bathroom"....

And then there was "Terri." She was convinced that she was in the middle of a game and we, the nurses, were actually people from her office playing parts. I was Jackie.

T: "Jackie! Jackie! put this rail down so I can get up.."

Me: "Sorry I can't. You have to many things attached to you and we dont want you to fall."

T: "Thats what I'm gonna say next time you ask me for a policy number! 'sorry I can't' and dont ask me to type for anymore either, bitch!"

T: "Jackie I dont, want to play this game anymore."

Me: "Terri, this isnt a game you are in the hospital."

T: "Ya and my blood pressure just went up to 3337 and I'm still here to tell you about it..I'm alive because it's a game. See! Thre goes Audrey's daughter into my laundry room! explain that.."

Then I have a little fun with it because at the end of the day you have to have fun or you will go insane..

Me: "Terri, who is winning? I think I'm winning.."

T: "I'm not sure. What level are you on?"

Me: "5, I think"

T: "Oh wow thats really good Jackie, you are from accounting so I'd expect that from you. Now get in here you were supposed to be here hours ago to give me my back massage.."

All I can say is there better be a very special place in heaven for me and my coworkers :)

Adele

So apparently I'm a little late to this party because this artist has been a favorite for awhile...have you heard Adele? I am currently OBSESSED. Her latest album "21" I just bought and literally listen from song number 1 - 12 without skipping. Every song is amazing. love love love her. If you are late to this party as I was, I urge you to give her a listen on itunes. Like I said I love all her songs but here are the ones that I've been listening to on repeat...

You're Welcome :)

dah dah dah dah

Pretty sure this is exactly what a conversation between me and Gina looks like after a night at the bar...

Eat. Pray. Love.

I watched 'Eat. Pray. Love.' last night and I loved it. It's a movie that really makes you think about your own life. I think that sometimes we tend to get stuck in what is comfortable and that cripples us to do things that we want or need. No one has this life figured out. We are all doing our best. I think the mistake we make sometimes is living in our own bubbles and forgetting that there is a whole world out there waiting to be discovered and explored and through doing that we might just learn something about ourselves that we never knew before. I think that is the gist of this movie.. I love it and here are a few quotes that stuck...

"So the holy truth of the whole adventure here in India, is in one line: "God dwells within you...as you." God's not interested in watching a performance of how a spiritual person looks and behaves. The quiet girl who glides silently through the place with a gentle, ethereal smile...who is that person? It's Ingrid Bergman in "The Bells of St. Mary's" – not me. God dwells within me...as me."

"We all want things to stay the same. Settle for living in misery because we're afraid of change, of things crumbling to ruins. Then I looked at around to this place, at the chaos it has endured - the way it has been adapted, burned, pillaged and found a way to build itself back up again. And I was reassured, maybe my life hasn't been so chaotic, it's just the world that is, and the real trap is getting attached to any of it. Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation."

"You're going to have to learn to select your thoughts the same way you select your clothes every day. Now that's a power that you can cultivate. You want to come here and you want to control your life so bad work on the mind, and I don't think you should be trying to control a thing because if you can't master your thoughts you are in trouble forever."

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life."

“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.”

“There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under the jurisdiction. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I can read and eat and study. I can choose how I’m going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life-whether I will see them as curses or opportunities. I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts.”

"If you're brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting, which can be anything from your house to bitter, old resentments, and set out on a truth-seeking journey, either externally or internally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be withheld from you."

All quotes from Author Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat. Pray. Love.

On Second Thought...

Okay, so I know I said I was going to do the thirty day challenge..but in all honesty ..it got boring and a little repetitive. I guess the beauty of having your own blog is that you can make the rules as you go :)..so Im going back to writing about whatever is on my mind that day..

This week was dedicated to my hair..I got it cut, colored and straightened...whew. I feel like a new woman. When I was at the salon I noticed that everyone had these things in their hair. I liked em..what are they you ask? Rooster Feathers! They are little extensions that you put in that add a little something extra..I opted to not get them that day since I was getting the straightening but I've been obsessing since then and I want them..I want them bad...here they are...