December 09, 2010


This Saturday I will be participating in my first ever Santa Con! I could not be more excited! What is Santa con you ask? Wellll, it is a ginormous bar crawl in NYC in which everyone dresses as Santa Claus. 1000s of people prancing the streets of NYC spreading drunken holiday cheer! Could it get any better then that? I submit that it cannot..

(from the official santacon website....)

Santa's Rules:
-Don’t Fuck With Kids (be nice to them and give them presents. it’s okay to be assholes to their parents)
-Don’t Fuck With Cops (how will you shimmy down chimneys if you’re in jail?)
-Don’t Fuck With Security (bouncers and security guards are still bigger than your jolly beer belly)
-Don’t Fuck With SANTA! (Santa loves creative holiday attire from naughty elves to Hannukah Harrys. Santa loves candy-striped stripper poles, whimsical stocking stuffers and holiday games for boys and girls. Santa does not love gropey frat boys in a Santa hat and jeans.)

Santa's Survival Guide:
What to expect
Santacon is an annual convention for Santa and his holiday brethren. Expect holiday cheer, unconventional gifts, naughty carols and general mayhem.

How to be Santa
Santa doesn’t just wear a cool suit and invade your dad’s liquor cabinet: he also brings gifts! A gift can be a reindeer game, a song, a dance or a joke to entertain Santa and tourists alike.
How NOT to be Santa
-Santa never endangers his reindeer with violence, vandalism, inappropriate groping or theft. Santa never gets SO jolly he needs babysitting. Santa never expects to get away with behavior that an ordinary citizen wouldn’t.
-Don't get SO jolly that your friends have to clean puke out of your beard. Dont be that Santa!
Follow the candy canes.The folks with the tall candy canes can help you get to Santa’s next stop.
-Tip your bartenders well.Or burn in Santa’s Special Douchebag Hell for all eternity.
-Bust out the carols.Remember that carol book you printed? Use it!
-Don’t get arrested.Dressing like Santa does not exempt you from city, state and federal laws. This includes open container violations!
-Don’t litter.Santa likes his elves dirty and his streets clean.
-Check in on your friends.If you brought ‘em, you’re responsible for ‘em. Don’t send your wasted 22-year-old cousin on the train back to Ronkonkoma by herself!

As you can see this promises to be one hell of a time and you should all be in attendance..will let you know how it goes, ofcourse ;)

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