Necessary

WARNING: my post today is morbid but necessary.

All to often in health care I see patients who are kept alive by extreme means. ie- ventilators, feeding tubes, pressers (drugs) and other medications. Some of these patients will make a recovery, some will not. Usually its apparent early on who will have a chance to return to normal functioning and who will not. The main predictors of this are age, co morbidities and present diagnosis.

Most of the time the stresses of making decisions regarding plan of care for these patients relies on the next of kin; husbands, wives, children, parents etc. This can be a very stressful situation and often I see the families are torn with their decisions. What if I decide to withdraw care and he/she would have been better? What would he/she want? What if I continue to let them do everything and he/she never gets better?

I had a patient this week, for example, who has been with us for over a month. I wont get into the details of his diagnosis and everything that has happened but his prognosis is poor and he is clearly suffering. He has no quality of life, he is basically a vegetable and there really is very little hope he will ever be functional again. It makes me so sad to see him, it really breaks my heart to see people like that. If that were me I would say extubate me, put me on a morphine gtt and let nature take it's course. I think thats what most people would want. However, your vision is clouded sometimes as a family member, we selfishly want to keep them alive by all means because we feel that if we dont we are signing there death certificate.

So what am I getting at? There are these great things called "living wills" What they are ultimately is your voice of what you want done for you and what you dont. It takes the stress off your loved ones to know what you want. It's not an easy thing to talk about, especially when we are young but we are all going to die at some point and we dont know when, that's just a fact of life. I urge everyone to have a look at this legal document and to have the conversation with your next of kin so they know what you want and what you dont. It wont be a pleasant conversation but a necessary one.

Forget You

I have to say I was never a big Gweneth Paltrow fan until this right hereeee....

I became a Gweneth and Cee Lo fan in all of three minutes ...thanks Glee ;)

smiles

Love the videos of Ellen's audience dancing..smiles

Forgiveness

We are all human and, therefore, we all make mistakes. We have all forgiven people who have hurt us and in turn have asked for forgiveness when we have been wrong. It can be tough; tough to ask for and tough to give. Ultimately, it makes everything better. It frees us. I'm not just talking about the kind where you say it and still hold a grudge..true forgiveness does wonders for the soul, really. But why is it so hard to forgive ourselves?

I have found over time that I can be my own worse enemy. I am my harshest critic and my biggest bully. When I mess up I don't let myself forget it. I dwell on things and it's not healthy. I don't like not being perfect but am realizing that if I don't make mistakes I will never learn certain life lessons. Mistakes shape us into better people if we choose to learn from them.

If you are like me and are hard on yourself too, I challenge you to forgive yourself for past mistakes because you deserve it. Do you ever listen to the thoughts in your head? We can be so mean to ourselves..Shoo away the negative words in your head and replace them with positive thoughts. Instead of saying "ugh I look so fat in this shirt" say "damn! I look gooood" even if you don't believe it, you will start to. Instead of saying "Ugh, your so stupid I can't believe you did that" say "That wasn't the best thing to do but now you know for next time." It feels good and it works..Dont forgive and forget but forgive and learn..it does the body good :)

Halloweeen

Halloween weekend was a success! NYC was good to us..

Whipped

So this weekend is halloween..a day and reason to dress scandalous with my best friends..not too shabby.. we are going to be devils in case you were wondering..even more importantly we will be drinking this....

Pinnacle had the amazing idea to combine two favorites of the human population...whipped cream and vodka..genius!..I'm super excited to give it the old college try..I'll let you know how it goes ;)

Bikram

I decided this week to make my return to Bikram Yoga. Oh, what a beautiful disaster. You see, the first class after a long time away can be extra challenging as you have to become reacquainted with your frenemy which is the 106 degree room. I have the famous love/hate relationship with the class. Pure torture while your in it..challenging ever muscle, organ, gland that exists in your body..but pure bliss after..it really starts to become a sick addiction, pain for pleasure. During class I always find myself asking whyyyyyy do I do this to myself?! Then when class is over I think "Oh right, this is why." Never do you feel so empowered, so strong, so clear minded, so fit. Thanks Bikram Yoga but I hate how much I love you.