best

The best Christmas present...

Merry Merry

I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas, surrounded by the people you love. I wanted to share with you my favorite christmas song...

Merry Merry!

Fact

Fact: I have a different view of humanity around the holiday shopping season. People are straight crazy.

Fact: It is frigid in New York right now..all you people who complained all summer about hot it was, are you happy now?

Fact: Santacon is a life experience.

Fact: There is a patient on my unit with a pot belly, white hair and a white beard that does a version of ho ho ho when he laughs. He denies he is Santa Claus but we are all trying to have him out by Christmas Eve just in case.

SANTA CON

This Saturday I will be participating in my first ever Santa Con! I could not be more excited! What is Santa con you ask? Wellll, it is a ginormous bar crawl in NYC in which everyone dresses as Santa Claus. 1000s of people prancing the streets of NYC spreading drunken holiday cheer! Could it get any better then that? I submit that it cannot..

(from the official santacon website....)

Santa's Rules:
-Don’t Fuck With Kids (be nice to them and give them presents. it’s okay to be assholes to their parents)
-Don’t Fuck With Cops (how will you shimmy down chimneys if you’re in jail?)
-Don’t Fuck With Security (bouncers and security guards are still bigger than your jolly beer belly)
-Don’t Fuck With SANTA! (Santa loves creative holiday attire from naughty elves to Hannukah Harrys. Santa loves candy-striped stripper poles, whimsical stocking stuffers and holiday games for boys and girls. Santa does not love gropey frat boys in a Santa hat and jeans.)

Santa's Survival Guide:
What to expect
Santacon is an annual convention for Santa and his holiday brethren. Expect holiday cheer, unconventional gifts, naughty carols and general mayhem.

How to be Santa
Santa doesn’t just wear a cool suit and invade your dad’s liquor cabinet: he also brings gifts! A gift can be a reindeer game, a song, a dance or a joke to entertain Santa and tourists alike.

How NOT to be Santa
-Santa never endangers his reindeer with violence, vandalism, inappropriate groping or theft. Santa never gets SO jolly he needs babysitting. Santa never expects to get away with behavior that an ordinary citizen wouldn’t.

-Don't get SO jolly that your friends have to clean puke out of your beard. Dont be that Santa!
Follow the candy canes.The folks with the tall candy canes can help you get to Santa’s next stop.
-Tip your bartenders well.Or burn in Santa’s Special Douchebag Hell for all eternity.
-Bust out the carols.Remember that carol book you printed? Use it!
-Don’t get arrested.Dressing like Santa does not exempt you from city, state and federal laws. This includes open container violations!
-Don’t litter.Santa likes his elves dirty and his streets clean.
-Check in on your friends.If you brought ‘em, you’re responsible for ‘em. Don’t send your wasted 22-year-old cousin on the train back to Ronkonkoma by herself!

As you can see this promises to be one hell of a time and you should all be in attendance..will let you know how it goes, ofcourse ;)

Kieran John

Welcome to the world Kieran John Bella. December 6, 2010. 8lbs 19 inches

Congratulations to Jen, Brendan and ofcourse Uncle Frank! What a cutie head!

Necessary

WARNING: my post today is morbid but necessary.

All to often in health care I see patients who are kept alive by extreme means. ie- ventilators, feeding tubes, pressers (drugs) and other medications. Some of these patients will make a recovery, some will not. Usually its apparent early on who will have a chance to return to normal functioning and who will not. The main predictors of this are age, co morbidities and present diagnosis.

Most of the time the stresses of making decisions regarding plan of care for these patients relies on the next of kin; husbands, wives, children, parents etc. This can be a very stressful situation and often I see the families are torn with their decisions. What if I decide to withdraw care and he/she would have been better? What would he/she want? What if I continue to let them do everything and he/she never gets better?

I had a patient this week, for example, who has been with us for over a month. I wont get into the details of his diagnosis and everything that has happened but his prognosis is poor and he is clearly suffering. He has no quality of life, he is basically a vegetable and there really is very little hope he will ever be functional again. It makes me so sad to see him, it really breaks my heart to see people like that. If that were me I would say extubate me, put me on a morphine gtt and let nature take it's course. I think thats what most people would want. However, your vision is clouded sometimes as a family member, we selfishly want to keep them alive by all means because we feel that if we dont we are signing there death certificate.

So what am I getting at? There are these great things called "living wills" What they are ultimately is your voice of what you want done for you and what you dont. It takes the stress off your loved ones to know what you want. It's not an easy thing to talk about, especially when we are young but we are all going to die at some point and we dont know when, that's just a fact of life. I urge everyone to have a look at this legal document and to have the conversation with your next of kin so they know what you want and what you dont. It wont be a pleasant conversation but a necessary one.

Forget You

I have to say I was never a big Gweneth Paltrow fan until this right hereeee....

I became a Gweneth and Cee Lo fan in all of three minutes ...thanks Glee ;)

smiles

Love the videos of Ellen's audience dancing..smiles

Forgiveness

We are all human and, therefore, we all make mistakes. We have all forgiven people who have hurt us and in turn have asked for forgiveness when we have been wrong. It can be tough; tough to ask for and tough to give. Ultimately, it makes everything better. It frees us. I'm not just talking about the kind where you say it and still hold a grudge..true forgiveness does wonders for the soul, really. But why is it so hard to forgive ourselves?

I have found over time that I can be my own worse enemy. I am my harshest critic and my biggest bully. When I mess up I don't let myself forget it. I dwell on things and it's not healthy. I don't like not being perfect but am realizing that if I don't make mistakes I will never learn certain life lessons. Mistakes shape us into better people if we choose to learn from them.

If you are like me and are hard on yourself too, I challenge you to forgive yourself for past mistakes because you deserve it. Do you ever listen to the thoughts in your head? We can be so mean to ourselves..Shoo away the negative words in your head and replace them with positive thoughts. Instead of saying "ugh I look so fat in this shirt" say "damn! I look gooood" even if you don't believe it, you will start to. Instead of saying "Ugh, your so stupid I can't believe you did that" say "That wasn't the best thing to do but now you know for next time." It feels good and it works..Dont forgive and forget but forgive and learn..it does the body good :)

Halloweeen

Halloween weekend was a success! NYC was good to us..

Whipped

So this weekend is halloween..a day and reason to dress scandalous with my best friends..not too shabby.. we are going to be devils in case you were wondering..even more importantly we will be drinking this....

Pinnacle had the amazing idea to combine two favorites of the human population...whipped cream and vodka..genius!..I'm super excited to give it the old college try..I'll let you know how it goes ;)

Bikram

I decided this week to make my return to Bikram Yoga. Oh, what a beautiful disaster. You see, the first class after a long time away can be extra challenging as you have to become reacquainted with your frenemy which is the 106 degree room. I have the famous love/hate relationship with the class. Pure torture while your in it..challenging ever muscle, organ, gland that exists in your body..but pure bliss after..it really starts to become a sick addiction, pain for pleasure. During class I always find myself asking whyyyyyy do I do this to myself?! Then when class is over I think "Oh right, this is why." Never do you feel so empowered, so strong, so clear minded, so fit. Thanks Bikram Yoga but I hate how much I love you.

Beach Love

Since moving to Long Beach I make it a point to go for walks on the beach every chance I get. I can't get enough of it..it is one of my favorite places to be. Molly, on the other hand, is definitely resisiting the love for the beach that I am trying so desperately to force upon her. She can't quite figure out the sand. Even though she doesn't look the part, she has dog instincts and wants to smell everything..sand does not allow for a pleasant sniffing experience. As soon as her paws hit the sand one of two things happen.. she either starts to sprint like I have never seen before..At first I thought she wanted to chase the birds but now I think she thinks she will sink into it if she slows down..or she sits and jumps in circles, growling at the wind. either way its really funny. Is it mean that I find this hystericle? Maybe you just have to see it for yourself...

Alumni Weekend

Once a year my friends and I make the trek back up to Fairfield, CT for alumni weekend. It's something we look forward to because for those three days we are in college again..or as close as we can be to it. We have no responsibilities..our main concerns are what are we going to eat today, what are we going to wear tonight and what do we want to drink before we go out? Oh, those were the days.

Most of the time the most fun of the night is the getting ready and pregame sesh which is always accompanied by Ms Spears at one point and then of course the drunken shenanigans and food frenzy that occur once we get home from the bar. The actual time at the bar is always just a small part of the fun and often times insignificant.

I smiled when I got home and uploaded the pics from the weekend. Like true college form all the pics are us cleaning up nice in the beginning all smiles and hotness followed by gumby, smoochy faces after one too many cocktails..these my friends are the pics of a staple college night..

One thing became apparent this weekend..it was something none of us wanted to admit..we definitely can't keep up like we used to and we just might be getting too old for this..

Genius

Just when I thought I couldn't love Glee any more...

GENIUS!

Prague

When I think of Prague I will forever think of four things; beer, fairy tales, thai massage and gulash. Not a bad combo? I know what your thinking "she tried another thai massage? did she not learn her lesson? does she like happy endings?" The answer is no this was a legit place. Because of our last experience we were weary of the situation but after a week of walking our tootsies hurt and a foot rub sounded very appealing even if it meant listening to heavy breathing and swishy sounds. we opted for the $20 1/2 hour foot rub, it was a good choice. Heaven. We left feeling like new women. We felt so good that we went back the next day for a $45 hour and a half full body. Some of the best money we have ever spent.

Beer in Prague is cheaper then water. So naturally, to save money, we drank a lot of it. It was good..the food, however, not so much. The gulash and dumplings were delish but very heavy. We decided to get a ceasar salad and nachoes for lunch one day..let's just say dont try to americanize Prague..stick with the meat and potatoes and you'll be fat but golden.

Prague has a very gothic feel to it. All the buildings look like castles and you truely feel like you are in a fairy tale. The main attraction is the "Old Square" which is home to the famous clock tower. Every hour the bell rings and trumpet players play to announce the new hour. The St. Charles walking bridge has beautiful scenery and religious statues depicting different events and people from the bible. Horse drawn carriages roam the streets ..it feels all too magical until you turn the corner... XXX shops, Sex machine museums, "non stop" bars and casinos.. In conclusion Prague's got a little something for everyone whether your taste is fairy tale or fetish.

Again, pictures to follow...

Paris

Sorry it has taken me so long to blog about my trip..it's intimidating to write about a whole trip and make it concise enough for a blog. Anyway, the rumors are true; Paris is amazing. Believe everything you hear except that the French don't like Americans. We didn't encounter one mean person. I think the person that started that rumor is a super sensitive midwestern person. Maybe I don't have a high standard of niceness being from New York, but Parisians are delightful.

Day one we decided to try and get a feel for the city and there was a lot to take in. There is such an amazing history there. The Eiffel Tour was about 3 blocks from our hotel. We hopped on the open bus tour to get a feel for what we wanted to do. We were amazed at the beauty and elegance of the city. No one walking around in sweatpants, one building more beautiful then the next, beautiful gardens and statues everywhere..true beauty; people and places. Notre Dame on the other hand was seriously creepy. Monsters and gargoyles protruding out the sides of the church from all sides. We ate at two fantastic cafes that day. The first was a french brassiere where we got delicious cheese croque, salad and wine. For dinner we got a yummy hummus and falafel platter.

Day two we slept in a little considering that we were both on about 2 hours of sleep for the last 48 hours. Our hotel offered a yummy breakfast that we enjoyed daily. We decided to take advantage of our 3 day open bus ticket and head to the Louvre. The Louvre is the home of the Mona Lisa and Venus de Milo. It is also a former palace to King Louis. There is something about standing in the exact place of these historical figures where historical things actually happened that gives me goosebumps all over. The Mona Lisa is quite small. I was warned, however, it truly is small! But beautiful and breath taking in its own right. The Gardens outside the Louvre were amazing. It is the central park of Paris where people picnic, enjoy a bottle of wine and each others company. It truly is the city of Romance. Love was seen all around us with no bias on age or pairing types.

After the Louvre we took the metro to Montemarte, my favorite part of Paris. We went to Sacred Heart Church which sits high above the city with a view that goes on for miles. There were small bands and entertainers that lined the streets and artists to draw your picture. I decided to get one. We got dinner at an italian place. So so delicious! My mouth waters just thinking about it.

After dinner we returned to our hotel area and decided to try to go to the top of the eiffel tour, however, it was almost 11pm and closed. We heard music close by and stumbled upon a group of about 100 people with an italian guy singing all american hits. That's one thing I noticed, that all the music I heard were american songs. But this guy was great and the crowd was fun. There were guys walking around selling bottles of champagne and wine. Naturally we got one but here were no cups so we chugged it from the bottle..it was perfect. Lots of fun..too much fun ;)

By day 3 we pretty much mastered the metro. well, kinda. But we still used it as our main mode of travel. We went to Museum D'Orssey which is home to the paintings of Van Gogh and Monet. After, we went back to Notre Dame to go inside. I am happy to report that it is not scary inside like it is outside. Beautiful nonetheless. Next we got ice cream at the most famous ice cream place in Paris..mmmmmm. enough said. We then navigated our way to "Le Deus Magot" which is a famous cafe where Hemingway and F Scott Fistzgerald wrote. Its famous and they know it which is why 2 glasses of wine and the equivalent of a grilled cheese was our most expensive meal of the trip. We hopped on our last leg of the open bus tour and passed by the ritz wear Princess Diana had her last drink and the tunnel where she died :( People still place flowers at the site. We found ourselves on the other side of the Eiffel tour which has beautiful fountains. It is also the exact land mark where Hitler posed for a pic. Ew. This is also where we attempted the "jumping" picture. Funny stuff. then we went to yet another cafe and got a quiche and salad followed by the most amazing crepe. After dinner we went on a riverboat tour down the siene.. very classy.

Day four we went to St. Chapelle a famous and beautiful chapel known for its amazing and durable stained glass windows. Next, the Concierge, which at one point was a palace and then the state prison. We saw Marie Antionettes cell and chair where she actually sat..again..goose bumps. We also went into Il Invalides which was a hospital for injured soldiers and the disabled back in the day. Today it serves as a museum of the world wars and Napoleans Tomb. For some reason I like the dead, creepy things. Looking at this huge Coffin its weird to think there is a tiny little famous corpse in there. whatever im weird. After we went to, yes, another cafe where I got the most amazing french onion soup. yum yum. Next, we rented bikes. Now I don't know if you met me and my mom but she is in shape and athletic and I am not so much. So I panted and sweated my way across the city, mom was at home. After a little wine for refeul I did much better. For dinner we went to another french cafe and got mussels and pasta with salmon..again, so good. Next we went to an underground jazz club. It was poppin, yes, on a Monday night. There were some pretty legit couples dancing there. One old guy kept asking mom to dance..he kinda looked like santa..it was hysterical. One of the really good dancers asked us to dance and I decided to give it a go..I can dance but couples is very different..Hence, I did not do very well and Im pretty sure his toes were soar the next day. But it was fun.

The last day in Paris we had to go the the Eiffel tower. We decided to climb the stairs since there was no line for that and a huge line for the elevator. I quickly learned there was a reason there was no line..it was hard! I definitely worked off all the food I ate this trip..it was well worth the effort as the views at the top were breath taking. Off to Prague!

too many pictures..will post a video compilation soon!

MERCI AIR FRANCE

Well we have arrived.. Paris is amazing! more posts to follow about that when I get back.

For now I have to make a shout out to Air France..oh my goodness. What an amazing way to travel. I wouldn't use any other airline if it went all the places I wanted to go. Get this.. FREE wine, beer and champagne the entire flight! yup, you heard me right...free the entire flight. Screw you America for charging $5.oo for a lousy in flight soda and peanuts..take a lesson from the french. I know what your thinking, it could be a recipe for disaster. But we were good. We simply sipped on some yummy bubbly. Probably because we already had two glasses of vino in the airport and were gearing up to take an ambien. So, naturally we had to be careful ;). They also served a delicious dinner and snack. I know..I was shocked too. There was also a wide selection of movies, tv shows and games for your personal tv. I watched 'Valentine's Day' and 'Date Night,' mom watched about a quarter of Valentines Day. Both were cute and entertaining in case you were wondering. Anyway, I was spoiled, yes spoiled in coach, and will never fly the same again. Merci, Air France..Merci!

Eurotrip

Thursday Momma and I will be off to explore Paris and Prague. We are very excited and have quite an agenda planned. I have never been on a vacation with just my Mom and I am super excited to spend some quality time with her in such beautiful places...

Keep your fingers crossed that Earl doesn't interfere with our travel plans..See you next week!

Birthday Girl

30 years ago today a very special person was born, my momma. Here are just a few reasons why I love my her...

1. The way she never says a bad word about anyone. Really, it's saint-like.

2. How beautiful she is..inside and out.

3. The way she takes care of herself. Yoga, biking, running..you name it she does it and I can't keep up. She always orders fish or a salad while my go to is 'pasta.' discipline.

4. For being my best friend. We have so much fun together. I don't laugh with anyone like I laugh with my mom.

5. For sharing her clothes with me :)

6. For her quirky sense of humor. I love it and thank her for it as I too have acquired this blessing/curse.

7. For her sleep walking. Quite possibly some of the funniest things I've ever witnessed.

8. The way she will drop everything to be there for her family and friends. She has and she will.

9. For teaching me to cook and for showing me how to be a strong, independent woman.

10. For being the best mother, daughter, wife, sister, aunt and friend anyone could ask for.

I love you, Mom. Happy Birthday. Here's to you. And here's to the best year yet..you deserve nothing but the best!

Happy Ending

My mom and I have been on quite a few adventures together but this one takes the cake so far. My mom recieved some information about a $25 massage in Flushing, Queens from a couple at yoga. They raved about how great it was so naturally we decided to try it.

I must preface by explaining that Flushing is an Asian neighborhood where they offer most everyday things for cheap. For example it is where I got the $700 Salon Japanese hair straightening for a mere $125. All of the signs are in chinese letters and there are few english speaking people walking around. I was a little weary when she told me we would be going to this area for the massage as I was made aware by a few different people that this is home of the "happy ending" massage. If you don't know what that means, I'm sorry I am not explaining.

We arrive and park in a local garage and proceed on foot to find our destination. This was not an easy feat as I explained earlier, everything is in chinese. We found two doors with the english words "body work" we peaked in one door and it had slot machines, nope thats not it. Then a spanish man walking on the street asked us "massage?" to which we said yes and he then pointed to the other door. We thanked him and he responded "Your welcome Mammi, I love you," touching my arm. Ew. Creepy. We walked into a basement, a funky smelling basement where we were half ass greeted by a woman at the desk. We explained we were here for the massage and she led us into a room I will describe as filled with curtain cubicles. There is barely a foot around each end of the massage table. We were led to our cubicle and left with no instructions. We assumed we should derobe and lay down, lucky guess. Our non english, speaking 'therapists' came in and began the massage. I have to say that it was an above average massage, worth the $25, besides the part when she rubbed my stomach. I've had a few massages in my day and never have I had anyone rub my stomach. It didn't help that I had to pee. Mom said she liked it. Modesty is also something they never heard of as they had my bare ass out in the open when they rubbed. There were four "cubicles" in our room to which I believe three were occupied; me, mom and a man. About half way through the massage I started to hear funny noises and breathing. At first, I thought it was my mom and decided it reminded me of the Friends episode where Pheobe wont massage Monica because she makes sex noises when she rubs her. After the massage was over my mom asked me if I heard the noises too to which I responded "That wasn't you?!" Ew, a happy ending was going on in full force feet from us. What kind of place is this?! And why on earth would a nice, old couple recommend it to us?

We go to pay and get our parking validated as the man who recommended the place told us they do. They looked at us like we had four heads. Upon further exploration we realized that we were in the wrong place! Apparently there are a lot of $ 25 massage places in Flushing..even on the same block..and we were in the wrong one, a "happy ending" one!

We laughed the whole way home and as we drove out we saw the place we were supposed to go to..an upstairs spa that actually looked legit and clean as opposed to the basement, curtain cubicle/brothel we found ourselves in. I guess in the end you get what you pay for.

Movin Out

I would like to apologize for being a lazy blogger lately. It will start to get better soon, I promise. I have been in the process of moving over the last two weeks and it is not an easy endeavor. I thought 'Oh, I'll just buy a few things, pack a few things and move..it will be like college.' NOPE. In college everyone brings something to the table making your overall individual contribuition a little more manageable. I need things that I never even knew I needed i.e. a cheese grater, toilet brush, curtain rods, things you take for granted when you live at home. All these things add up and I have a rather large dent in my bank account at the moment but hopefully it will all be worth it. Right now you wouldn't know that though judging by the numerous boxes, pieces of unassembled ikea furniture, lack of tv and the fact that my dog is in full throttle resist mode. She has been relieving herself all over the house, not eating, barking her head off when I step outside..I'm not making the best impression on my new neighbors to say the least. I hope she warms up to her new home sooner then later.

I do have to say, unlike Molly, I am in love with the house. I will post pictures as soon as it is done. I love being so close to the beach and there is a surfer/island mentality that is obvious in the town. I love that. I miss my momma a lot and my other pups.. its hard to leave home, I wish I could have stayed but we all have to grow up sometime, right?..I'm going to be 25 this year, time to be a big girl. I have been in my own full throttle resist mode for awhile but everything kind of fell in place at the same time and I knew it was time.

As I begin this new chapter of my life I am feeling so many things; exitement, fear, sadness, happiness, anxiety..I am a bit of an emotional smorgasbord, but I think thats normal. Afterall, change is never easy but it is a natural, necessary part of life. We can choose to resist or embrace change and I'm choosing to embrace it.

WALMART

If your ever feeling sad or bad about yourself a quick visit to www.peopleofwalmart.com is just what the doctor ordered.

Maybe this is mean but these people brought it upon themselves..sorry...

and this lady just makes me smile..

just in case you felt like crying today

Change

Change is a funny thing. It's something we all go through, an inevitable part of life. It can make us feel so many emotions at the same time; excitement, fear, anxiety, hope etc. As human beings we are creatures of habit. We all have our routines, a way of thinking and doing things and that makes us feel safe and content. We resist change. Why? Because with any great change comes great risk and adjustment. It's often unfamiliar, something we have never experienced before and that makes us vulnerable. To change something about our life, for example, a job, a home or a relationship is scary. There is the possibility that we may fail or be unhappy but on the flip side there is the equal possibility that we will succeed and be happier then we ever thought possible.

I'm going through a few changes in my life right now. Can you tell? Im excited, scared, anxious and hopeful, among other things, all at the same time. I'm taking a risk, hoping that it will be a positive change for me at this point in time. The beauty of this life is that there is no permanency to our decicions. We can change things for ourselves if we choose, it may not always be easy but it is possible. So, I've learned not to be afraid to take a chance, try something new. Could it backfire? Ofcourse. But it could also be the best thing I ever did. Afterall, isnt it better to follow your heart, try and fail then to be crippled by fear and never know what could have been? That's what I thought too.

The Things We Do For Love

My boyfriend has always been an outdoorsy guy. He lives for the survivor type adventures. Me..not so much. For our 6 year anniversary (go us) I decided to try to be a good girlfriend and agree to a 3.3 mile hike up Bear Mountain. Some of you more 'in shape' people may laugh at such a short distance as he did but I will tell you that this was not an easy feat. Here it is..the mountain I barely conquered...Not so big you say? Piece of cake? Yes, these were my thoughts as well until about 5 minutes in when I seriously considered turning back.

This is at the beginning of the trail.. Notice the lack of sweat, the smile on my face, my muscles at this moment are still in their relaxed, preferred state.

Who ever mapped out this trail had people like me in mind. Every few hundred feet were perfect rocks to sit on. As much as I wanted to turn back and head over to the pool to sunbathe with a margarita in hand I had a little pep talk with myself. "Liz, your going to be very mad at yourself if you don't get to the top. You can do this. Slow and Steady." Yea, fine..I am a dork but it worked.

We made it! 2 hours and 2 gallons of water later here we are on top of Bear Mountain. The view and tranquility was worth the effort. Thank you to my wonderful, patient, encouraging boyfriend as I could not and would not have done this without you.

Now its my turn..Broadway date! hehehe

love love love

Since I had such a wonderful experience with 'rent the runway,' I wasted no time in securing a dress for the next wedding I have in August...here it is..a Nicole Miller Sweetheart mini..

it's love....

Thoughts From the Heart

I have so many questions I would like to ask of you;
Where have you been? Why don't you care? What did I do?
Do you ever think of me? Know that I often think of you.
I wish you weren't so selfish, I wish you wanted me too.
I wonder what my childhood would have been like if you were there for me.
Maybe it would have been easier, maybe I would have been happy.
All my life I have longed for you more then you will ever know.
Over and over again I was hurt by the lack of love that you would show.
I've spent many years trying to understand how this came to be.
I think it's simply who you are, you've refused to change for your family.
I want you to know that I miss you and I'll always love you still.
Afterall, your my father, there's a hole in my heart only you can fill.
Maybe one day we can be friends, I'd like that very much.
I think you might be proud of who I am and may want to stay in touch.
In the mean time I'll be patient and continue to be okay..
Thanks to the love from my family and friends that I am blessed with every day.

A note to my 16 year old self

I don't know how wise I am but I do feel as any person gets older and gains life experience they might just have something to say for it. That's the hope anyway. I recently got to thinking about some of the things that I wish I knew sooner..here are a few notes to my 16 year old self...

Don't care so much what others think of you..if you do the right thing you have nothing to worry about.

You really are what you eat and if you take care of your body, your body will take care of you.

Wear your sunscreen. Reapply. The years of sun worshiping are going to catch up all too soon.

Don't worry the awkward stage will end.

Smoking really is not cool.

When it feels like the end of the world it's really not. The sun is going to rise tomorrow and you are lucky to have so many people in your life that love you and will get you through anything.

You wont always get what you want but you will get what you need.

Highschool boys suck..you're not in love.

People are going to hurt you and let you down, it's part of life. The challenge is to forgive, learn and grow. Grudges only hurt you.

Don't speed, it's better to be late and get there in one piece.

Your eyebrows don't need to be twins, just sisters. Put the tweezer down!

Think before you act. Sounds simple enough but there will be so many times you just wont use your noggin.

Be nice to your mom, shes your biggest supporter and really will be your best friend one day even though you don't believe me now.

Make time to pursue your passions no matter how busy you think you are or how far out of reach they may seem.

Keep a journal, start a blog and take more pictures, your going to regret it if you don't.

Sweet sixteens are over rated.

Don't change for anyone, they aren't worth it if they don't like you the way you are.

If you want to argue bring up religion and politics, otherwise, don't.

Laugh at yourself.

Stop being in such a hurry to grow up, it happens so fast!

Be nice to everyone, everyone deserves respect. You don't always know where they are coming from.

Please, enjoy every second of high school and college.

Money can't buy happiness but it is important, as much as people pretend it isn't, it is. You need it to live. So, work hard so that you can have a career that makes you happy and will give you the life that you deserve.

With that said...you want to be a nurse...know this now so that you don't have to spend an extra year of tuition for switching majors.

Last, but not least..life is too short. Let things go, you take life to seriously at times. Try not to get caught up in the drama, focus on being happy because this is your one life to live..make it count.

Lizzy Baby

There is a patient on our unit that has been with us for about two weeks now. She is making big strides each day but sometimes she is still a tad confused. She reminds me of someone, an actress, but I can't put my finger on who..maybe Fran Drescher's mother on The Nanny with darker features. I've only had her two nights of her stay, both nights she happened to be sedated and intubated, but she somehow always remembers my name. Picture an italian woman from Brooklyn with a very fiesty personality.

Each night that I've worked three things happen without fail. First, she spots me.. usually yelling across the unit "Lizzzy Babyyy!!" I hear, it's her summons for me. I think she likes me because we share a love for the celeb gossip and dancing shows (she has posters of the male pros from 'dancing with the stars' all over her hospital room..true statement) "Lizzy my baby, I miss you," she says to me even if its only been ten minutes since the last time I saw her. Second, she usually asks me for a cigarette to which I say that A) I dont smoke and B) she shouldn't either and definitely can't while she is hooked up to oxygen in an ICU because she will blow us all to bits. She thinks this is just too funny.. Lastly, the night would not be complete if she didn't ask me if I was married or had any children. After saying no she proceeds to try to set me up with her 50 year old, married, balding son. "Lizzy Baby I love you..have you met my son?"

whew

Taadaaaaa......

It surpassed all my expectations..fit perfect..even more beautiful then in the pictures on the website and there was no angry bride or bridesmaids..success! whew

Fingers Crossed

Tomorrow's the big day..my dress will be arriving from rent the runway! I hope it lives up to all my expectations. Fingers crossed.

I was showing this dress to someone at work who knew I was looking for something to wear to the wedding. When I showed her my choice she says "your wearing THAT to a wedding?!" My heart sunk, "Yea, whats wrong?" She proceeded to tell me that it is cardinal rule number one that no one can wear white at the wedding except the bride. Okay, as a girl who has not been to all that many weddings this is a rule that I was not aware of. I mean, I wouldn't wear a white ball gown or anything but I'm going to say this one is ok. She joked that she will pick me up if I need to escape the bullying bridesmaids that will surely be out to kick my ass. In my defense it does say in the description that it is tinted gold. So, I plan to wear gold shoes, gold jewelry and carry a gold clutch to hopefully bring out the hue. I've asked around about this rule and got mixed answers on the subject. All in all it is unclear and at then end of the day depends on the bride (who I don't know). Perfect.

So, say a little prayer that I don't offend anyone this weekend all the while looking fabulous in my white, gold tinted, non bridal looking dress! :) pictures to follow.

My Happy Place

Im generally a happy person but if I'm ever down there are a few things that are sure to put a smile on my face. My cousins, my pups, tostitos cheese dip, sean hayes (jack from will and grace), and glee...

albeit corny at times, there is something wrong with you if you can deny that these quirky teens dont put you in your happy place

What's The Rush?

Generally when people find out that I've been dating my boyfriend for six years they ask "so when are you getting engaged?" To which I respond "not any time soon." Then I get the look, the 'what's wrong with you' look. I'm 24 people. I love my boyfriend and I probably will marry him one day but I am in no rush. I mean once your married your married forever, hopefully. That is a long time to live with a boy.

As young girls, most of us dream about our wedding day. Pretty dresses, fancy hair and make up, beautiful flowers, dancing, all eyes on us; we are the princess for a day. Once that party is over, however, there is a marriage and it is far from a game of house. It's a union that takes hard work, compromise and patience. I'm a very selfish person right now, as every twenty something year old should be. I want to do what I want to do.. I want to be with my girlfriends, stay out to the wee hours of the morning, go on shopping sprees for myself and travel the world. Not to say that marriage ends all of those things but I'm pretty sure something changes. So don't pressure me world and make me feel like a freak of nature for not wanting to even think about getting engaged yet, although the ring would be fun to have :) Things will happen when they are supposed to. So let go of the past, don't stress about the future and simply enjoy the present.

Home

Isn't it funny that no matter where we go, how much fun we have, who we are with or how long we are there that it is always nice to come home? It's our familiar, our safe place filled with the people and things we love. There is no one like your family, your pups, nothing like your own bed, a home cooked meal and your usual routine, even if we curse it every once in awhile. As nice as it is to break from reality, travel and change things up a bit, at the end of the day we find ourselves relieved to go back to that comfortable place we call home.

Excitement

I am super excited to have just placed my first order with Rent the Runway for a wedding I have this month..this is what I chose..isn't it pretty?! It's by Badgley Mischka..retailed at $500, mine for the occasion for a mere $50.

It's like netflix for designer dresses..why couldn't I think of that?

Paradise

These are some pictures taken from the porch of my aunt and uncle's place in Barbados. Jealous? Me Too. Oh, no big deal just a beautiful rainbow over a crystal blue ocean with your morning coffee...

Don't be fooled..this is not a photoshop image..this place of perfection does exist and they get to call it home..

Only downside is they are also exposed to the occasional European vacationer..

But how easy it is to forget any negativity of the day when you get to sit down to good food, good wine, with good company and this...

This is how you might look if you were going back to paradise in a mere twelve days :)

Full on Gleeeek

I love gleeeeee. Last night this gave me chills..

and I could not be more excited for this next week..

FYI

wine and online shopping can be a deadly combination.

yes, there is a winner of ebay auctions but it is not a competition. It is okay to lose..in fact, it is imperative you lose most of the time.

don't wear clothes you like while cooking.

my chihuahua may or may not be bulimic.

...just a few things I learned so far this week.

It's Just a Number

Age is a funny thing. When we are young we long to be older so we can do the things adults get to do. Then when we finally hit the age where we get to do all the things we always dreamt of and what do we do? We long for the days of our responsibility free lives as children. We humans are very hard to please. Age really is just a number. Why do we obssess over it? I know plenty of young people that act like old ladies and plenty of old ladies that have more energy then most youngins.

My friends and I always joke about how old we are getting..we know that we are still young but life has changed a lot for us over the past few years; graduating college and entering the 'real world.' We have had to adapt a little and I guess we are still a little insecure about it.

This past week I was in South Carolina with my family. I was on the beach minding my own business when a cute hawaiian lifeguard came up and started talking to me. I knew he was younger then me but not by more then 2-3 years. I was bored on the beach by myself and he was interesting so we chatted. About 20 minutes into the conversation he asks how old I am..I say 24 and he looked like he had seen a ghost..he stumbled over a few words and then said "Well, I should be getting back to work." Ouch! I was depressed and feeling like an old maid for about an hour.. then I realized I was being ridiculous. I am not an old maid and I vowed to myself then and there that I would never be one. So, poo on you cute, hawaiian lifeguard but thanks for helping me realize a valuable life lesson; age doesn't define us..we define the age.

Rockstar

I've always been a fan of Melissa Etherdige's music. She's one of the good ones...soulful, magnetic, powerful are just a few words that come to mind when I think of her as an artist. I'll never forget the first time I saw her in concert. It was quite the experience. I was about 13 years old, an already awkward age for girls. My mom, cousin Kristi and I went to see her at Jones Beach. Lets say Jones Beach holds 8,000 people..12 of them were men. I have never seen so many lesbian couples in one place. They actually put "WO" in front of the mens room sign to allow for two womens rooms. Don't get me wrong I have nothing against the lesbians..love em..but when my mom and cousin started pretending to be a couple to fit in things got a little out of hand.

All awkwardness aside, she put on one of the best shows I have ever seen. She is the epitome of rock star. A bad ass. She actually sounds better in person then she does on her albums which is why I am psyched to see her again this july in NYC.

Shoulda Coulda Woulda

I always think about how I wish I would have started this blog while I was still in college. Oh, how I would love to have written down some of the memories from those years. I got to thinking lately about some of the things that I would have written about. There are so many stories but a few that stuck out were..

Sophmore year we lived in the "penthouse" of East hall. My friends surprised me with a cake for the big 20 ..as they were singing the fire alarm went off in the buiding..our faces dropped as we looked up to see the candles were directly under the smoke detector. We decided it would be smart to hide the cake and exit the building. We later overheard on the radio.. "yea, we got some birthday candles up here."

Halloween was always wild.. anything goes on halloween in college..whether it be our fallen angels, firefighters or cops..always made for a fun and interesting night.

The countless stories of trying to domesticate Gina; teaching her how to make canned soup, use the dishwasher, cut her meat etc. And trying to keep Colleen in one piece was always fun too, the girl fell about three times a week and broke two household items a month without fail.

When a bug would weasle its way into our house, somehow always in me and Gina's room, you would have thought we were being attacked by an axe murderer with the screams we let out. Nadayne always came to the rescue as she girlishly swatted at the critter in question. One time the critter was furry. We found him dead in the kitchen. As girls who cant go two hours without a snack or meal this was the longest amount of time we were ever not in the kitchen... It wasn't until a male recruit removed the mouse that we thought about going back in..still with slight hesitation..eww

Then there was the time we called the cops on our own party. It was an "anything but clothes party" one of our best until it got a little out of hand. Some people were seen fleeing the scene with backpacks. The next day we were warned by one of our neighbors that word on the block is that we are drug dealers. 6 girls living in house..coming and going at all hours of the day with big bags..having different guests visiting us.. totally not the normal behavior of college students.

Homemade dinners were the best. Did I mention we love to eat? We always cooked and ate like a family, not your typical college house but we loved it. We had a few staples that included pasta with vegetables, chicken burritos, chicken stir fry and always a salad. Then later when we got our second wind we would either have left overs, dino nuggets, mac and cheese or whatever was in the pantry to munch on.

Snowstorms were the best. Nothing quite like being snowed in with your best friends. As soon as we heard news of the approaching storm we would set up a plan of action that included runs to the grocery and liquor store. We would stock up as if we were going to be snowed in for days. Every once in awhile a storm would sneak up on us with no time to prepare and we literally would trek out in feet of snow, blizzard like condions..basically risking our lives to get the goods..sad? I call it determined. We are women who know what we want. :)

We also had our own languages. Yea, weird. Really the only entertainment we needed was each other. Too bad using the video feature on our cameras wasn't really the thing to do until second semester of senior year. I miss laughing as much as I did everyday. As the old saying goes all good things must come to an end. Like every other phase in life, college is a fleeting time and I am thankful that I had the priviledge to experience it. I am also thankful that I still have those same best friends and every so often we still make it a point to make dinner together, have sleep overs, talk in our languages and reminisce about just how good we had it.

Love Love Love

I love you Dunkin Donuts Iced Coffee..Let Me Count The Ways..

Thanks for helping me get through my night shifts at work.

Thanks for helping suppress my gigantic appetite.

Thanks for having a drive through because I am too lazy to walk the 20 feet inside.

Thanks for always tasting the same..always meeting my expectations no matter where you are.

Thanks for helping complete my sunny day rituals.

Always There. Always Good. Thanks :)

Life is Precious

One day they are fine and the next they are not. That is the harsh reality we have to deal with as nurses. Usually, we don't know them when they are fine, usually they are critical and we only get to know them through their family and friends that visit and tell us about them. It's always hard to lose a patient but this time was extra hard because I knew him when he was "fine," to use the term very loosely.

He was polite, called me "mam," said "please" and "thank you." He was a religious man; read the bible in bed, blessed the hands of those who took care of him and prayed often. I was worried about his mental status at one point, "W, who are you talking to?" "God, mam." We find comfort in the fact that he was so religious, I believe he is happy and safe now, he is with his God who he loves so much and who loves him. I just don't understand why God had to take him at 43.

Fine one minute, not the next. Puts everything into perspective doesn't it? There is nothing to say that it couldn't have been anyone of us in that bed instead of him. We don't know what God's plan is for us. I am positive that he didn't think he would die 3 days after his admission to the hospital, but he did. I am thankful to have peace of mind knowing that we did everything we could for him, that it was out of our hands. Life is precious. I am learning more and more to be thankful for every minute of every day, to enjoy it. My job has taught me to appreciate the simple things and realize what really matters at the end of the day. I invite all of you to do the same because we never know when it could all be taken away.

80s Love

I recently saw "Hot Tub Time Machine," the title although ridiculous is somewhat self explanatory. The hot tub brings them back to 1986, the year of my birth. As they showed some of the trends of that year it got me thinking about growing up in the 80s/90s and what sticks out for me from that time.

First, the Caboodle. I don't know a girl out there that didn't have one of theses filled with Bonnie Bell.

Alf, I was obsessed with Alf. Never missed an episode. I had Alf blankets, an Alf sleeping bag and even an Alf doll. Funny thing is he totally creeps me out now.

Before Wii, Xbox and play station one, two and three there was nintendo. Just plain, old non HD, 3D anything nintendo and it was great. Loved Mario Brothers, always wanted to be Mario never Luigi..can't forget about Duck Hunt either ;)

Cabbage Patch kids. They didn't cry, eat, poop or talk BUT they did have boy or girl written on their butt and they didn't let you look until after you bought the doll. At the time I thought for sure the excitement was similar to an actual birth except this baby came from a 'patch.'

Scrunchies, enough said.

Jonathon Taylor Thomas, JTT, oh, he had my 12 year old heart. Evidenced of course by tigerbeat posters all over my wall. Edward who?

In west Philadelphia, born and raised.....

Slap Bracelets. These used to get out of hand. I think they were even banned from school at one point.

And who could forget Friday night dates with Snick. Clarissa Explains it All, Rugrats, Doug, Roundhouse, the shows were forever changing but the one that always stayed, the one that scared the crap out of us but we would never admit it.. Are You Afraid of the Dark?

Welp, that's my walk down memory lane, just a few simple, irrelevant things that once put a smile on my face. :)

Addict

I have TMJ that causes jaw pain and muscle spasms in my neck and back. I've tried many things to treat it with no relief. I recently decided to try acupuncture and I am addicted. I was weary about it at first, I mean they stick needles in your back and face for goodness sake. After doing some research and finding that it doesn't hurt and does work I decided to give it a try. The chinese are way ahead of us in the holistic approach to healing. In addition to acupuncture she gave me a regimen of natural supplements and diet tips that have helped as well. After only a few sessions I already feel relief.

After the needles she does a technique called 'cupping.' Essentially they are suction cups that are put on the skin and they suction out the stress and toxins that cause the spasms. It is the best and you feel amazing when its over.

Only down side is the cups leave these round hickey like bruises on the skin..I guess cupping will have to be a winter only treatment. My friend Gina reminded me that these marks will not be cute for bathing suit season.

So the next time you have pain, don't give into the accepted American view of popping a pill. Try a holistic approach first as not only will it solve the problem but it will also get to the root of it which result in lasting relief. The chinese are on to something here ;)

April Tunes

One of my favorite things to do this time of year is drive with my windows down, music blasting, shades on and ice coffee in hand. I love it. I don't even necessarily have to have some place to go. My playlists are forever changing and they are always a compilation of different genres, oldies and newbies. Here are my April tunes...

Bon Jovi- Captain Crash
Eric Hutchinson- Rock and Roll
Lady GaGa- Dance in the Dark
Selena Gomes- Naturally
Jay Z- Forever Young
Missy Higgins- Nightminds
Train- Soul Sister
Five for Fighting- Chances
Lady GaGa- Teeth
Billy Joel- Miami 2017
Dixeechiks- Wide Open Spaces
Melissa Ethridge- Change
b.o.b.- Nothin on You
Bon Jovi- Happy Now
Keri Noble- Piece of My Heart
Miley Cyrus- I Look at You
Hootie and The Blowfish- Hold My Hand

..Happy Cruising :)

Let the Countdown Begin

Much like snowstorms wont be the same as a working nurse, summer wont be either. This would have been my ninth summer lifeguarding at the beach. Some of the best memories of my life. It definitely wont be the same, I will definitely miss it. A new chapter in my life. However, it doesn't change that I am super excited that in just a few weeks I will be spending my days off here...

My cabana at Silverpoint beach club, the best place on earth. Really, whats better then soaking in the sun, eating delicious food, sipping on my Uncle Steve's famous cocktail creations...

Seeing sunsets like this every night....

Oh, and spending quality time with these wonderfully crazy people I like to call my family..

Nope..doesn't get any better then that. :)